


He knew?

by ParrisRatLord173



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Gender Dysphoria, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Trans Edward Nygma, Trans Oswald Cobblepot, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-26 19:21:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18288632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ParrisRatLord173/pseuds/ParrisRatLord173
Summary: Edward is transgender, Oswald makes a comment on it and Edward is confused how he knows. Things are revealed, Oswald helps Ed get the surgery he so desperately wants.





	1. You should take it off, you know

**Author's Note:**

> This is season 3 flipped on its head, Ed is heccin head over heels for Os and is lowkey dying
> 
> Also they're both trans fight me.

Edward Nygma had been living with Mr Penguin in the Van Dahl manor for weeks, almost a month now. He had been helping Oswald run for mayor, as campaign manager. They’d grown close, closer than before.

After Ed betrayed him the way he did, he was afraid he’d never get Oswald’s companionship or trust again. He couldn’t believe he turned him away like that. Shitty roommate Mr Pegnuin may be or not, he shouldn’t have done that. Oswald was grieving at that time, then he was mentally changed, now he was normal again. Ed was finally seeing him in his true element, his true self.

Considering they had already been roommates Ed, Ed already knew his eating habits, cleaning habits and everything in between. Mr Penguin was clingy but it was kind of endearing, annoying but endearing. Either way, he knew everything about Oswald now. After living in such close proximity he had practically seen all there was of the man, physically, mentally everything.

Oswald was an unusual and interesting man, Ed definitely gained a little more than a celebrity crush after actually meeting the man. It only grew the more time they spent together, no matter how much they got on each other's nerves it was like they were meant for each other. At least Ed hoped Oswald viewed him in that, he’d freed him from Arkham. He’d forgiven him, Ed had been there in his time of greatest need. They were at least friends, from both sides.

There was one thing Oswald didn’t know about Edward Nygma though. He was born Edith. Terrible name, from his mother’s side. He hated it from birth but kept some of it for sentiment's sake. He had been called Ed from a young age anyway it grew on him.

Oswald didn’t know though, he never asked why Edward took shots once a week or why sometimes when they were just in t-shits Ed wore something that could be seen from underneath the wide neck of the shirt. Or maybe Oswald just didn’t care.

Ed was still conscious of looking at all feminine or acting that way. He was hyper-aware of his every move when the slightest exposed when he laughed his voice would sound strange, his hips were just slightly too wide, his chest wasn’t flat enough.

When Kristen found out, she reacted terribly. He didn’t want anyone else to know, not his place of employment, not anyone living. Especially not the object of his affections now.

“You should take it off, you know.”

Edward spluttered.

“If you don’t take it off you’ll get a cracked rib one day.” Oswald drawled one night, they were drunk, after a long day of work Ed had practically thrown off his suit and gotten into a plain shirt and sweater and settled down for a light drink. That is when Oswald, being Oswald, stole the bottle and took a swig straight from it and sat down next to him on their living room couch. 

It was rare for Ed to be in casual clothes around the house, it felt like they worked 24/7. Oswald was still all dressed up though, if not a little, they’d been complaining together about their days when Ed started having breathing issues.

Probably laughing too much, it always happened like that. When he first put it on for the day he never felt any different, obviously mentally he felt more secure with it on. There had been a time in his life when he slept with it too, now he made care not to even if it hurt more with it off. By the time it was the end of the day he was aching. It had gotten to that point and normally he would’ve taken it off by now.

“What?” 

“Trust me, especially when you’ve been drinking, it’s a bitch after.” Oswald sighed again vaguely gesturing to Ed. “Sorry if that was too blunt my friend but you looked uncomfortable.”

Ed’s jaw dropped. Oswald had noticed, he knew the whole time and said nothing. Of course, he had he was always so observant. But how did he know it hurts?

“I. You know?”

“I wore one for years my dear friend, of course, I know.”

“You don’t anymore? What?”

“The wonders of surgery Ed.”

Ed’s mind flatlined. Was he really that unobservant himself? He had literally seen Oswald half naked and never questioned the two matching scars on his chest. Good going Ed, he thought.

“You’re like me.” He whispered with wonder, Oswald’s nodded absently. “Thought you noticed, I stopped T a while ago I don’t need it anymore though.” Edward nodded absently, suddenly a couple of things fell into place. He felt like their friendship just evolved another level, this wasn’t something he ever shared and he doubted Oswald went around telling people.

“You know Ed, if you want, I can get you the surgery. Aftercare kind of sucks but it improved my life a lot. I’m surprised they let you have a binder in Arkham but I’m glad for your sake.” 

“You, you would do that for me?”

“Edward you’re my best friend, I care about you. Of course, I would.” Oswald smiled and put a hand over Ed’s, who was shaking lightly. Edward let out a shaky breath and wrapped his arms around his unsuspecting friend who hesitantly hugged back just as tight. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” Ed chanted quietly. Oswald rubbed circles in his back.

The next few days remained the same, their whole routine, but now Ed knew. Oswald knew too. They had gotten close since then, and in a few weeks time, Ed’s surgery was scheduled. He had never been happier. With a supportive best friend and a place where he finally felt like he belonged, appreciated, cared about. Almost loved.

Oswald became mayor that week, with Ed’s riddle helping him find victory. ‘I can’t be bought but I can be stolen with a glance, worthless to one but priceless to two.’

Love,

He almost hoped Oswald had gotten the hint but it seemed they were both too caught up in the moment. Ed almost didn’t realise the double entendre to his own feelings until after he’d heard it from Oswald. Making the love heart almost felt like screaming it at him.

Edward loved Oswald and had no fucking idea if Oswald felt the same, with the surgery in a few weeks now he really hoped he could tell Oswald beforehand. Who knew at this point, he just hoped Oswald thought he meant as much as Oswald meant to him.

He would tell him soon. Ed decided. It was getting too much to hold in.


	2. The day is today

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ed gets Top Surgery and falls a little more in love with Oswald each day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kind of wanted to make this longer with more recovery days and soft™ moments but nah.

“Oswald,”

“Yes, Ed?”

“You know, it's two days away now. What if I regret it? What if it goes wrong?” Edward started pouring out his worries, he’d been wanting this since his teenage years and yet he was still scared. Oswald had done it already maybe it wouldn’t be so bad?

Edward knew his fear was stupid, everything was fine, his best friend would be there to support him, it would help his mental health exponentially. It would be so worth it. But he still had feared, anyone would.

“Edward, you won’t regret it. You deserve it.” Oswald smiled gently, Edward felt himself focusing on that rather than the growing dread inside him. He smiled back and hugged Oswald tightly. Oswald let out a sigh and Ed buried further into his neck. They had been seeking more physical comfort from each other recently, at least Ed had been. He didn’t know if Oswald was reciprocating because Ed was doing it so much or if he genuinely wanted to. He hoped it was the latter.

“I shouldn’t be nervous, I’ve been waiting and wanting this for so many years, Its just.” Edward felt his eyes starting to cloud over with tears and cursed himself for being so weak and childish. “I don’t know if I'm ready.”

“Hey, hey, Ed. You need this, I’ll be right there with you always, you will be okay. You’ll never even have to look at a binder again after this. Just a few weeks from now you can be yourself, truly and fully.” Oswald pulled away slowly lifting Ed’s head to face him and cupping his cheeks. Ed felt his heart stop and the tears roll down his face, was Oswald going to kiss him?

No, instead Oswald pressed there foreheads in a gesture somehow far more intimate. Ed slowly breathed in and out in time with Oswald. After taking a deep shuddering breath Ed responded, “Thank you. I don’t know what I could ever do without you.” Oswald smiled and pulled away. He looked far kinder and more innocent than a killer had any right to be. 

“Ed you're my best friend, I would do anything for you. Just as you said you would for me.” 

Ah yes, the sirens. When Oswald had saved him that was when Ed truly knew he was deeply in love, he hoped and prayed that after his confession it would lead to something more but Oswald’s hug was enough. It hurt him to think that Oswald probably would never think of him the same way, that them being this close never affected him like that. But having Oswald as a friend as enough.

It was bad when Ed noticed people interested in him, or Oswald. With Oswald, he got angry, one time enough so that he actually killed the man afterwards. Oswald still didn’t know why Ed did that though. Jealousy was not his finest trait but he knew Oswald was too, he had seen it when Ed chose to interact with others, Oswald being huffy or trying to hurry them along. Ed hated to admit it but it felt good seeing Oswald so possessive. 

At this moment, Ed almost confessed. Almost let a breathless ‘I love you, Oswald’ through his tears. But now wasn’t the time. He couldn’t ruin it now.

They separated silently after a few more whispered words Edward savoured and Oswald left to his own room. It was night, only one more day after this. A normal day of work in city hall and one meeting that wasn’t so legitimate. Then Ed was going on medical sick leave for three weeks. Oswald was going on one too, for around a week to help Ed. There second in commands would take over for them in the time being then Oswald would have Ed’s second in command by his side for the rest of the time. Ed wasn’t looking forward to that, nor to the time spent at home recovering. Alone.

The next day arrived slowly, Ed always had trouble sleeping and when he was nervous or stressed even more so. Their day began, as usual, Ed woke first, ate breakfast, had a very quick shower and got dressed. Oswald woke, took a shower, had breakfast and got dressed with Ed helping him pick his outfit for the day. Then Ed would leave his room, planning ahead for their schedules and Oswald would do his makeup and sort out any early underground business.

It was a settled routine and Ed loved it, seeing Oswald as his little grumpy Penguin in the mornings made him feel domestic as hell. Even if they weren’t a couple they were awfully close, especially for best friends. Of course, Edward still wished he could wake up next to his friend, watch up close as he woke up with a yawn and a full body stretch, smothering him with kisses. Edward had woken up Oswald before when he had willfully slept through the alarm. 

They had been living together maybe four months now and it had been the best few months of his life. Even when Oswald lived with him for a mere month and a few weeks while recovering was fantastic, his visits in Arkham were the only thing keeping him sane. Now, being so close all the time felt like one amazing dream.

“Ed, let's get to work. Better make the most of your last day.” Oswald grinned and Ed’s panic arose again. One more day. Right, he couldn’t forget now.

As they drove to the city hall he started going through their day, Oswald making little jokes or complaints about the schedule made Ed feel better. It was just a normal day, nothing was going to happen. Tomorrow was going to be fine, it was going to be good.

They arrived at the office and Ed dashed to start checking in with the staff around while Oswald went to his office to prepare for their first meeting, the day went, as usual, it was fine. Edward only made I through until lunchtime before his first bout of fear rolled in.

He felt sick, physically. It was his dad. Running through all the complaints coming through the council, it was his dad’s name. For all Edward knew it may have been a coincidence, maybe there was another Nashton family in Gotham who had complaints about them. It wasn’t Ed’s first thought though, it would never be rationalisation with his father.

If he saw Edward now? He wouldn’t just disown him he’d kill him.

Ed’s breathing sped up as the sudden crushing realisation of his past came crashing down around him and the room felt like it was getting smaller his vision was blurring despite his glasses and it was too loud. Way too loud.

He ran to the bathroom without explanation got in a stall and locked it. He started hyperventailating, it was too loud, too much. His father would find him. Hands over his ears he didn’t know if he was making any noise but hoped he wasn’t. 

A loud knock came from the stall and Ed cried out in fear.

“Ed, I need you to breath for me okay?” 

It wasn’t him it was Oswald. “Deep breath in, you can do it.” Oswald made a breathing noise although everything was muffled, Ed tried desperately to slow down his breathing but it was still too much and he tried to curl further into himself. “Ed you’re doing great, please breath for me.” He could see that Oswald was sitting outside the stall he could see part of his legs.

“Can you open the door for me?” Ed nodded but then realised Oswald couldn’t hear him so elected to unlatch the stall door while still as tightly wrapped up as possible. Oswald pushed the door open gently and Ed looked through his fingers to see his friend, Oswald looked sad but he was giving Ed a gentle smile.

“Can I give you a hug? Just shake your head if you don’t want me to.” Oswald reached out his arms but Ed didn’t react so Oswald pulled him in. Ed whimpered and took the hands off his ears. The bathroom was still too loud but with Oswald so close it would be okay.

He hadn’t had a panic attack in a long time.

Ed lost track of how long he stayed there with Oswald calming down. “How did you know I was in here.”

“One of our coworkers came into my office saying you had started freaking out and didn’t know what to do. I went to find you.”

Ed sighed, was he really that obvious? “Can you tell me what set it off?” He tensed at that not quite ready to share his entire past with Oswald on the bathroom floor of city hall. Oswald sighed, “It’s okay Ed. Whatever it was can’t hurt you.” Ed’s arms tightened around Oswald. God, he was pathetic, weak, having a freak out in a fucking bathroom at work.

“You’re so brave for going through with this Ed, you know you are. You’ll be okay.” Oswald mumbled words of encouragement that made Ed’s heart skip a beat. Having someone so close felt so good.

Oswald stood up and held out his hand to Ed ad helped him off the floor. Ed’s heart sank again when he realised which bathroom he was in. Was he really that careless? That bad of a mindset? Did his father effect in that much?

There weren’t any urinals on the walls, this was the women's bathroom. Ed hadn’t looked when he came in. Was he really that stupid was it really that ingrained in him that he wouldn’t even notice. The sinking feeling returned and he felt sick again. Oswald held his hand tighter.

Oswald had voluntarily come in here to get him despite the feeling it probably gave him too. How the hell did he know Ed was in here anyway? Did he think Ed would? As if reading his mind Oswald answered.

“One of the desk ladies saw you enter and freaked, that's how I even knew where to find you. I know it was just because you didn’t check. You weren’t thinking about things like that Ed, it means nothing.”

Ed let out a shuddering breath and Oswald let him take a moment to gather himself, fixing his hair and suit. Oswald flashed him a smile and they came together back out into the office space. Neither talked about it for the rest of the day.

“Ed, I’ll be right there with you tomorrow, I know you’re nervous,” Oswald said at dinner. Ed nodded slowly, “I can never really express how grateful I am to you Oswald.”

Oswald smiled reassuringly and they continued as usual.

Tomorrow came all too quickly.

Edward was going into the clinic at 10 am and their morning routine was upset and unusually tense. Edward was shaking near constantly and Oswald was right by his side the whole time. For once Oswald got up before Ed and brought him breakfast and coffee while Ed was in bed.

“Hey, big day.” Oswald grinned at his friend set the tray and mug down on his bedside table. Ed glare at his friend and pulled the covers up to his eyes to hide the blush that was probably spreading across his face. Even though it was still dark and he didn’t have his glasses on Oswald looked amazing and that was hardly fair.

Oswald rolled his eyes and opened up Ed’s curtains, Ed groaned and pulled the blanket fully over his head to hide from the light.

“Get up sleepy head you’ve got to be ready in an hour and a half. I already let you sleep in.” 

“I wasn’t actually asleep Oswald. I always wake up at 6:30.”

“I know my friend but it doesn’t mean you moved.”

Ed sighed and shakily sat up and grabbed the coffee mug and his glasses.

Oswald came to sit down next to him in bed. “Nervous?” Ed gulped down a mouthful of caffeine. “Definitely.” Oswald let out a sort of half laugh and stole some of Ed’s toast. “So was I, it feels strange after but I know you’ll do great.”

“Oswald, what can you break without touching?”

Oswald furrowed his brows and thought for a moment, “uhh… a heart? A Bone?”

Ed rolled his eyes, “A promise is what I was thinking of.”

“You want me to make you a promise?” Ed nodded at his friend nervously. “I promise I’ll be with you every step of the way.” He smiled.

On the drive to the clinic, Ed had to not wear his binder and was self consciously covering himself the whole way. He felt very uncomfortably exposed. Oswald and he had already seen the doctor a week before so it wasn’t someone new he had to deal with but knowing they had to do this felt kind of disgusting. Oswald held his hand, the one small comfort in the situation.

It would be over soon though, Ed would be free.

Ed sighed in shaky fear and relief when he woke up, his immediate thought was to feel his chest but it hurt much to touch despite the painkillers. Oswald was sitting beside him. “Look who finally came to. Everything went perfectly.” He grinned down at Ed leaning on his arm. “Your going home later, it’s only been a few hours. The doctor just wants to run you through this, bandages come off in a few weeks time.”

Ed smiled, he didn’t regret it. Thank god. It felt like a weight off his chest figuratively and literally. Oswald was still right there with him and he would be completely free in a few weeks from now. It was over.

The ride home was nerve-wracking, they had gone over the process for the drains with the doctors and now ed was sitting back in a limosine in the loosest shirt he owned having minor flashbacks to the days he binded with bandages, wow they were tight.

Oswald supported him throughout the day, helped him with draining and everything. It felt good to be doted on by his best friend and he celebrated six more days of this despite the pain he was feeling. Then no more bandages but a few weeks of recovery, then back to their usual lives. Ed still planned on organising Oswald’s schedule and everything, just not going into work.

They grew closer over the following few days, Oswald now had basically returned the favour and had seen practically all of Ed. Surprisingly Ed found himself comfortable with that too. It was nice, Ed felt he was growing closer to Os every day they spent alone together and in turn felt his feelings grow too. Maybe it was dangerous but he didn’t care.

On the second to last night, Oswald proposed they had a dinner together. Ed assumed it was to celebrate the surgery, his pain levels had gone down and he had fortunately gotten used to the tightness of the bandages. When he came downstairs dressed casually he was greeted by an almost full table and Oswald nervously tapping the table.

“Ed!”

“Oh dear, if I had known you meant this to be more formal I would’ve put on a suit,” Ed said nervously, they always had dinner together why was tonight goint to be different? Oswald had been trying to tell Ed something all week.

He had noticed, there was stuttering in the morning and unexplainable forgetfulness. Had Oswald found out about Ed’s feelings and had been trying to address it? Was he going to tell Ed something bad? He hadn’t actually worked out what his friend was trying to comunicate yet.

“No, no it’s okay my friend. You look nice as is.” Oswald stuttered over the last part so quickly Ed did a double take. Oswald had complimented his apperance before but never, so directly. Ed swallowed and went to sit down in his usual seat next to Oswald before realising the place was set opposite. 

This was scarily formal. “Do, do you have some news?” Ed said nervously. Oswald appeared to blush under the light of the candles. Ed was never sure but his friend was so pale it should be obvious. “I have had something. I wanted to say for a while now Ed.” Oswald said quietly, Ed perked up.

“I just. I don’t know how. You’re my best friend, I, my mother used to tell me. You only find one true, one true love. If you find them, run to them. Ed,” Ed sat stock still, was Oswald confessing. 

“Ed, I guess what I'm trying to say is. I admire you more than anything, your amazing intelligence, your humour, your appearance, the way you act around people, your murderous tendencies and hell even your riddles.” Ed was speechless, he was sure he was blushing bright red although Oswald hadn’t even finished.

“I love you, Edward.”

Ed felt tears well up, Oswald loved him. He had said it, he felt the same. 

“Oswald, I love you too. I love you so much.” Ed finally let outstanding up from his chair and rushing over to the other side of the table where Oswald was rigid.

“You do?” Oswald said quietly raising a hand to Ed’s face, Ed was grinning from ear to ear and nodded vigorously. Oswald said nothing more as he pulled Ed down to kiss him. He finally had his Penguin, Oswald loved him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this wasn't too inaccurate when it came to el surgery but i really wanted os to be supportive friend 100 and Ed to be a little bit nervy, I hope i didn't offend anyone sorry if i did.

**Author's Note:**

> Gonna be a part two of surgery and confessions ;))
> 
> Don't wear your binders for too long kids,


End file.
